Monday, June 10, 2013

They Never Said Anything About the Curious Monkey

You know the old saying "Curiosity killed the cat"? Well, we in the Martsolf home now have a variation of that sage (but boring) piece of advice. I haven't workshopped the exact wording yet, but it will involve a monkey and poop.

If I were a Mom Blog Purist I would show you a picture of the bowel movement sitting jauntily atop the yellow Curious George Big Book of Curiosity, but I am also a nurse who believes that human feces is simply a data point to be recorded and evaluated for signs of illness or disease process. Nothing about poop is entertaining or needs to be shared with people I respect (my friends and readers).  The fortunately very short lived stage where Pursy was very proud of her goings on in the bathroom and wanted our dinner guests to come take a look was horrifying to me. But I wanted to encourage her pride in her achievements and so allowed our friends to be taken by the hand (those who were either too shy to say no to a two year old or were just good sports) and be shown the marvel that is a child's stool.

The most impressive of these dinner guests is our friend Chris who is 1.) a single male with no children and 2.) over the age of 10 and under the age of 80, which I feel is the demographic least likely to casually bring poop into everyday conversation. One day when Pursy is old enough not to die of embarrassment I will tell her that every time "Miss Chris" came over to have a beer on the back porch he was her favorite person to ask to come see her achievement in the toilet. Grant and I tried to head this off as often as we could, but I am pretty sure there was one day no one was around to save him. He is still our friend, which speaks volumes to his good humored character. And his gag reflex.

Back to George and the unfortunate moment where my back was turned and Knox took his diaper off. We had just dropped Pursy off for her first day at the Ellis School's Summer Camp, had a lovely morning coffee with my friend Betsy and were home having Mama/Knoxer time. We had read some books, had some juicewater, changed over some laundry, played with Pursy' toys- all good stuff for a second child to do with his Mama. Then I made the mistake of leaving him on the couch in only a diaper (because I was a super cool Mama this morning and let him play in puddles fully dressed) for 18 seconds while I put some dishes in the dishwasher. The next thing I know, he is running toward me buck naked yelling "Poop! Poop!" with a huge grin on his face.

It was very graceful as far as open air bowel movements go. A direct hit to the middle of a large hardback book. A Clorox wipe, a quick dunk in the tub and order is restored.

Now both babes are in their beds napping or resting and I am downstairs trying to come up with enough words to round-about-ly describe what happened without actually writing a blog post about poop, which is just gross.

I also stood in front of the open refrigerator for a good 3 minutes searching for the other half of a french press that I already knew wasn't there so I could make myself an iced coffee. I just thought that today would be a good day for reality to bend just a little and give me a nice surprise.

1 comment:

  1. Aaaaahahaha! I love a good poop story and THIS is a good poop story. Just a good story in general. I love that Purslane.