Sunday, January 13, 2013

The End of Sentimentality

When children are little, you realize quickly that you lose two free arms. You also lose a full night's sleep, drinking your cup of morning coffee while it's still hot and sitting through an entire meal without getting up 27 times. But babies are so cute and little, you give these things up willingly. Or at least without much protest.

When they get bigger, you lose the luxury of going to the bathroom alone, running out to grab something at Target quickly and having a phone conversation where you can actually hear the person on the other end. Again, little inconveniences that you expect when you have little people running around discovering the world around them and eating it up.

But one thing I continually struggle with, and have for the past 2.5 years, is the loss of ideas and items that carry deep sentimental value to me. Giving up the possessive feeling that a kiss when Grant walks in the door shouldn't be delayed by anything, let alone two babes who right before he walked in were completely engaged in wrestling on the kitchen floor. Giving up the belief that I should be able to read a book in less then 3 months because I love reading and love how I feel so much like myself when I am curled up on the corner of the couch with a coffee and a fantastic read. Giving up the rights to MY STUFF- particularly my Burts Bees, cell phone and last bite of blueberry pancake. If you don't understand how a pancake can be classified as sentimental, you haven't had my blueberry pancakes yet...

But this was a doozy. When I found this on the floor, I cannot deny that I struggled with loving my children for a few minutes. This is a symbol of everything that was sacred and undeniably cool about my dating life with Grant Martsolf- the mixed tape. He made me two of these in the 6 weeks we dated before he proposed, and the music on it reminds me of the sweetest of times passed and musical loves gone by. Unless you still listen to Medeski, Martin and Wood, sweetie??

As a parent of young children, you have to constantly remind yourself that people are more important then things. Or, my darling offspring are more important then my sentimental possessions.

I love you, Purslane and Knox. Lucky for you.

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