Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The End of Boob Sharing

Last night after 9 hours in the car, Knox refused a nurse before bedtime. I thought maybe he was just tired and grumpy. This morning he was more interested in reading a book with Pursy then nursing. He weaned himself the same way his sister did- on his own and abruptly. She was 14 months when she weaned and he is almost 15.

I knew this day was coming. Every day since his first birthday I have been nursing him with more attention and appreciation because every breastfeeding could be his last. And because we are 99.7% sure we are done with our biological family, it would be my last breastfeeding as well. So I stopped reading magazines or surfing blogs on my smartphone and just watched him while he laid contently in my arms and nursed. One of my favorite things to do when he is almost finished is to start tickling him and watch him laugh while still latched on- both of my babes stubbornly refused to delatch until they were good and ready and would giggle and squirm but not let go.

So today is the first day in over 3 years that I am not pregnant or nursing- the end of body and boob sharing. My body and my breasts are mine again. I can dress them in whatever I want and neither of my babes need anything that I cannot give with my clothes on. In fact, I spent almost $200 at Victoria's Secret semi-annual sale last week on new underwear in anticipation of the day I would be throwing away the enormous maternity and post partum undergarments I have been putting on quickly in the bathroom before Grant can see what I look like under my clothes during the day. He knows in theory what my underwear looks like when he folds the laundry, but theory and practice are much different. And a nursing bra that has gone through two children and three years is very different from the black lacy push up he remembers taking off after his office Christmas party a few years ago...

So today I will take a moment to hug my body and thank it for everything it has so bravely and beautifully done for me over the past 3.5 years. It endured ultrasounds and Clomid while we were desperately trying to get pregnant during our year of diagnosed infertility. It carried my gorgeous daughter for 9.5 months and delivered her naturally without pain meds or intervention. Her birth story here. My breasts fed her for 14 months, even when after 9 months there was another babe on the way. It bravely carried my happy son for 9.5 months and delivered him naturally as well. Birth Story Here. My body then recovered quickly and allowed me to run around after a toddler with an infant in my arms. And yesterday, my breasts gave their final contribution to the health and growth of my wonderful babes.

I am still 20 pounds up and I don't think my hips will ever fit into my size 28 Seven For All Mankind jeans again. We will see what happens when the dust settles but something tells me that Grant will still be doing walk by ass grabbings even if things don't go back to their original place. I am so proud of my body and so thankful for everything it has done for me and creating our family.

And as we celebrate 9 years of marriage on Friday, Grant will be thankful for Victoria's Secret and their semi-annual sale...

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