Wednesday, May 23, 2012

My Husband:A Tribute

Without contest, the funniest thing Grant has ever said to me while we were in the dead middle of a huge fight was "I ONLY HAVE ONE FLAW!!". Of course that ended the fight as I started gasping laughing so hard I couldn't breathe let alone disagree with him about anything we were actually fighting about. Believe it or not, I wasn't laughing because I was calculating all the flaws I thought he had and thought it hysterical he had narrowed it down to one. I was laughing for the pure irony that is righteous indignation. The "how dare you" of married people fights that can be summed up by the sentiment that this other person is SO lucky to have you.

We have come a long way in our fighting. When we had our first true fight we were engaged- and I really don't remember what we were fighting about but I remember that I stormed off several times Hollywood Movie style and Grant came charging after me wondering why the hell I kept walking away. He kept asking me to just STAY. To sit down, keep talking and sort it out. I grew up in a house where my parents didn't fight in front of us, that I remember. So when Grant and I fought, I didn't know how to do it. I was a dirty fighter- I brought up past wrongs, I used obscenities liberally and there were a few occasions of things being thrown at his head. At one of my lowest points, I slapped him across the face.

I would like to think that over the past 9 years, I have learned how to fight well. That I stay in the same room, listen to the opposing viewpoint and do not resort to tears when I run out of words. I have fallen off the wagon a few times over the past two years when little babes have taken my sleep and most of my rational brain power. And I am still working on my tendency to treat people poorly when I feel that I have been treated unjustly.

But any improvements I have made, any ability to deal with conflict confidently and gently, and any use of the incredibly difficult words "I'm Sorry" are due to the patience and resilience of my sweet husband. He has taught me how to disagree with respect and grace- and to become more confident in dealing with wrongs that need to be made right- by demonstrating to me that even when I get it wrong and call him an asshole, he isn't going anywhere. And instead of making me feel like I can treat him that way because he is my best friend, his gracious unwillingness to let me get away with it more often then not, I am very proud to say, leads me to call and apologize.

So to my dear friend, who only possesses one flaw, I thank you.


  1. This made me laugh. You are both passionate debaters. :)

  2. Someone has to ask: what IS the flaw?

    1. I completely forgot what it was... I'm sure he does too. :)