Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Letter to Purslane and Knox

Purslane Claire and Knox Thomas Steele:

You know I love you, right? You know I ate and drank only good things while your body was forming inside mine because I didn't want anything to hurt you and I wanted you to be strong and healthy when you met the world. You know I felt every moment of my labor and delivery with you because I thought it was best for both of us to go without medication. You know I got up with you in the middle of the night and sweated under a blanket to cover myself in public and cried with sore nipples because I wanted you to have all the benefits of breastfeeding. You know I stopped working to stay home with you because I wanted to invest myself in helping you grow up. You know I packed away my cutest clothes and shopped at Target exclusively because I needed cheap big girl clothes to wear while I was pregnant and then after when I had the leftover bits that hung over my waistband when I sat down.You know that I let you sleep in my bed inbetween my husband and me while you were going through separation anxiety and cried when you were alone in your crib.

I don't need a thank you from either one of you. But I do want you to know that I love you more then you will ever know. And I know someday when I am not letting you do whatever you want you will accuse me of not loving you. You will tell me I am mean and unfair and all the other Moms are cooler then me. And I will stand my ground and tell you that I do in fact love you and then I will go in my bedroom and cry and pray for these teenage days to pass quickly. Because I want you to know every moment of every day of your entire lives that I love you. I want you to know what I sacrificed to love you- not because I want to be thanked but because I want you to know I loved you that much. And in the way I love you, in the imperfect and limited way that humans can love, I want you to see the love of Jesus. And know that you are priceless beyond measure because you were created by Him and are a gift to us.

It sure doesn't hurt that when I look at your faces I will always see love reflected back at me. Both of you look so much like your Daddy. So if I smile when you are crying at me or yelling at me or arguing with me, it isn't because I am not engaging with your present feelings. It is because when I look at the two of you, I see the perfect image of the Love that Made You. You are the beautiful result of two people who will always love each other and always love you.

My Darlings- you are the second best decision I have ever made. The first was falling in love with your Dad. Then deciding it was the right thing to have you. You were anticipated and loved before I met you, and I am completely head over heels for you now. I love you like crazy.

Your Mama


  1. This is the sweetest post! Kids can never understand what Moms go through for them (until they have children of their own!).
    You have a completely gorgeous view of life, thank you for sharing it with us!

  2. Love this so much! Your babes will think you're uncool, but that's ok. I thought my mom was so lame! Now I see that she did the greatest job. And I do thank her. So one day you may get a thank you. :) I hope I'm half the mom you are one day.