Thursday, March 1, 2012

Today I Am...

...exhausted and sleep deprived from almost 3 months of waking up at least twice a night with a crying babe.

...dying to go for a run- the weather is gray and a little chilly- perfect for a brisk run. Maybe another day.

...wishing I could fit into my old jeans- they always made me feel sexy.

...worried about money and whether or not I should be working more than one day a week.

...looking at the crumbs stuck in something around the garbage can and wishing Knox would let me put him down long enough to clean the floor

... thinking about the pile of books on my bedside table and wondering when I will have more than 4 minutes to sit and read something

...trying to remember if anyone told me how hard it was going to be to give up all the things that I thought defined me as a person in order to have children

...not even looking at the newest Pittsburgh magazine that came yesterday because it will be full of shows we can't go to, restaurants we can't eat at and things we can't do because we only have a small handful of people we can ask to babysit

...watching Purslane eat lunch and being amazed that I have a daughter old enough to sit in her chair and eat a peanut butter sandwich.

...emptying the dishwasher because I know Grant appreciates a little order in the chaos and I want any energy I have left over to go to making him feel like we have been waiting all day for him to come home.

...missing a dear friend who just left my house after a surprise 24 hour visit.

...thanking Knox for pooping 5 times already today and giving me the chance to admire his bare, fat little legs. my chubby post partum body a gentle hug and thanking it again for carrying two beautiful babes to term.

...grateful for tinted Burt's Bees chapstick that makes it look like I put lipstick on.

...loving the life I never knew I wanted.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. These posts take on a whole new meaning when you can relate to them in some way. Love you, C! We may be visiting the Pittsburgh area in the next couple of weeks. Would love to see you four!