This Leonard Cohen song title is how I want to tell Grant to feel about me. I want to remind him that there are women out there who have their shit together- who probably shave their legs on a regular basis or at least don't wear dresses and tights if they don't. There are women who would jump at the chance to scratch his back every night or at least not say "when was the last time you rubbed MY back?"every time he asked. There are women who would iron his suits every night instead of claiming that she never learned to iron, as if it was too late to teach an old wife new tricks. There are women who do not resort to name calling while fighting or remember to pay bills on time so he wouldn't have to stress about anything else. There are women who don't consider sitting next to each other on the couch watching Chopped a hot date.
In other words, Grant would be crazy not to recognize it would be way better with someone else who wasn't a selfish hot mess.
Instead he makes me playlists on Spotify so I don't have to spend time I don't have finding new music. He empties the dishwasher at midnight so I don't have to do it in the morning. He scrubs the inside of the dryer drum after a crayon decorated it a bright "classic red". He hassles me about finding a babysitter so he can take me on dates- and when we can't find anyone he makes us cocktails and holds my hand while we listen to records. He is crazy to love me. But I knew he was a little crazy when I married him- I think I was hoping it would turn toward me.. I just didn't know how thankful I would be that it did.