Grant and I hosted a house show a few months ago (Matt and Kelley) and have been rocking her CD in our yuppie Subaru frequently. One line from her song called "Morning Song" says: "I love the morning's cause nobody needs nothing from me". The song is a tribute to quiet moments alone when there is nothing else you would rather be doing then sitting with a cup of coffee and enjoying the fact that the day hasn't really started yet. I told Grant the other day that I can't even remember what that is like. My morning cup of coffee is usually tepid by the time I get to it, and every other sip is punctuated by "Pursy, don't touch- coffee is HOT" as she tries relentlessly to coerce me into letting her have some. The image of a woman sitting alone sipping coffee watching the sun rise is more like an oil painting then a possibility for me.
This morning as I stepped into the shower after putting Purslane down for her morning nap, that song lyric went through my head and I started to feel a little sorry for myself. I distantly remember mornings when I met the summer sunrise in my running shorts and Ipod. I would wake up Grant sweaty and exhilarated and drag him into the shower. We would talk about our plans for the day and if it wasn't a work day for me, I literally would have nothing to do but make candles, watch Food Network, browse an antique store, scrapbook, hike Mount Nittany, or sit in a coffee shop and read. Sometimes there was even a romp in the sheets before he left for work. In other words- Nobody Needs Nothing from Me...
Those days were fantastic. And in 18ish years, we will have them again. Except on my days off from work, maybe Purslane or Knox will call from college and need advice on planning their class schedule. Or we will be packing for the trip we always said we would take to Rome. My coffee will be hot and I will once again meet the sunrise with energy and anticipation.
But in the meantime, it isn't so bad to spend my mornings reading 27 books to a little girl who LOVES to turn pages. Morning walks are fantastic with a babe who loves being outside and wants everything she sees to be identified. I love making her breakfast and figuring out what she is into this week- last week she was in love with bananas and today I couldn't get her to eat one if I covered it in goldfish and applesauce (her other favorites). Soon enough she will be lying on her bed reading her own books, out walking with her friends and going into the pantry to make her own breakfast. It will be SO soon- and so today I will enjoy being needed and drink my cold coffee with a smile.