I have a new mantra for my life (the idea of even having a mantra came from my friend Margo, so thanks a bunch) which is "Simple and Direct". I am trying this approach in my relationships, communication, decisions and general eating,sleeping,breathing LIVING. It is not as easy as you would think.
Things like nuance, irony, sarcasm, expectations and so on keep life from being simple or direct sometimes. And more often then not, if the person you are dealing with has a mantra like "Passive and Aggressive" then I come across as the ass and they walk away calm as a Spring morning.
I also have to be careful that being simple and direct is not mean. I have been known to blame my new life goal for a harsh tone in my voice or just being a jerk to Grant. "It is not my fault you took it like that... I am just trying to be simple and direct with you". Meanwhile, his skin is slashed open and he is bleeding on the hardwood floor- and I throw him a wet wipe.
But one area in which it has become essential that our communication is simple and direct is while we are in the process of figuring out the next step in our life. Grant is finishing up his PhD and starting to go on job interviews, we are talking about neighborhoods and churches and elementary schools. This next move is going to be a big deal- because we will have two babes that we are essentially deciding how they will grow up. Some things we know we want- no suburbs, two-car dependence or house we can't afford. We want a good urban church where we can serve our city, a community of people to love on, and good schools for our babes. My interpretation is: camelback house in the upper Garden District, Redeemer New Orleans on Sunday morning and one of the many fantastic charter schools that make up the public school system in New Orleans. Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest, crawfish po-boys, French Quarter and the streetcar. Grant's interpretation is: rowhouse in Lawrenceville, City Reformed on Sunday morning and either the lottery for a charter school or private school. Season tickets to the Pirates, the Andy Warhol museum, Primanti Bros sandwiches, and his family close by. He can't imagine anything better then Pittsburgh.
So here is where I need to be simple and direct. I love my husband and my home is wherever he is. And I know before I married him that this would not be in my beloved Colorado. I did not think it would be western PA, but he is holding up his end of the FIRM promise he made me never to take us to Florida or Texas. Nothing wrong with these states, I just don't want to live in them. So we have fought, argued, debated, danced and general had many lively conversations about this next move over the past few months. I have two cards in my hand that he has unfortunately already seen.
1. I am a Registered Nurse. I can literally work anywhere in the world.
2. I am one of the easiest people to make happy, and would be content anywhere in the world, as long as I had my husband and babes.
So there is my head today. Don't make me feel alone- has anyone else gone through this? How do you figure out how to be simple and direct with a life decision this huge?