I decided not to edit and/or delete the previous post because it is how I honestly felt- even for a moment, it is true thought and I think that should be preserved. Where else can my honest thoughts be laid out if not on my own blog?
Even though this morning I feel the same, the context is different. Last night I could do nothing about failing to do the things I wanted. Today I still wish that I had accomplished more in 2010, but today I have spent in its entirety with my husband and daughter- laughing, eating, watching movies, napping, scrapbooking, football- being a family. And it was pretty damn good. I came back to what is real. And it wasn't anything mind blowing- I didn't change the world or discover the secret to always being peaceful and gracious. I just showed up. And who said that showing up was 90% of success?
Welcome 2011. I make no resolutions or promises to become a better person. I will just continue to surround myself with people who will sharpen me like iron and love me despite my irritating tendency to be human. Then maybe in 364 days I will celebrate 2011 as the year I grew up a little bit more and embraced any small advances I made towards being the woman I long to be. Maybe if nothing else I will believe the prayer I pray every night for Grant and I- that Jesus will make us look a little more like Him.