Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Goodbye Facebook

I deactivated my Facebook account today. It was actually a decision made completely impulsively after a "facebook discussion" had on the wall of one of my friends. In a moment of impulsive clarity, I realized that we have begun using facebook as a sort of bathroom wall to say all the things we won't say to each others faces. We use words we wouldn't normally use because we have the impersonality of the computer screen and the luxury of lots of time to come up with a perfect answer. We forget that tone doesn't come through in Times New Roman font- nor does sarcasm, irony or wit.

I realized also that I had spent a good part of the day stewing internally about this particular discussion- and also externally processing with Pursy who is not a great listener. She is however, non-judgmental and therefore a perfect sounding board. The crazy thing about this particular discussion is that is was exactly the sort of conversations we have had a million times over beers on the back porch or coffee in a cafe. An opinion about a car commercial (the Toyota Sienna and Highlander commercials) evolved into a discussion about post modern angst and the true motivation behind decision making in consumerism. Just when I thought things were getting really interesting, a friend of a friend jumped into the discussion like a cannonball in a swimming pool party and said that our comments made him more angry then the commercials and called all of us "self-conscious" and "crybabies". HUH?? So rather then simply overlooking his comment as if it came from the grumpy man sitting next to us at a restaurant who has been eavesdropping, I let it fester and bother me all day. Why would he do that? What in the hell does he care what other people talk about on facebook? Did he not have anything intelligent to say and thus needed to try and rain sarcasm on our conversation parade?

I came to the conclusion that A. I like good conversation B. I miss handwriting letters C. I don't know some of the 300+ friends I have collected and certainly would not expect them to want to look at my vacation pictures D. Not all modern conveniences are good for me E. People are less inhibited when you can't see their face and maybe they should be a little more.

So that is my non-judgmental (i.e. I don't think everyone should inactivate their FB) non-self righteous (I don't think I am better then you because you are going to check your FB page after you read this) and very happy goodbye to Facebook.

5 comments:

  1. This made me a little happy, a little envious, and a little sad. Like you, I go back and forth on the merits of Facebook. Like you, I think Facebook has become an easy outlet to be hurtful or just not *think* about what we are saying to people. (The other day I "defriended" someone because his friends were threatening and harassing me on his wall -- we were discussing politics. I also blocked these two people from viewing my somewhat public Facebook page.)

    I've come so close to deactivating my Facebook. I so badly want to do it. But for me, I've made a lot of connections and had a lot of really great discussions with people via Facebook. I try not to let the one guy who calls me a communist whore ruin it for me. And although it may seem impersonal, and not nearly as wonderful as sitting on someone's couch chatting and looking at pictures, it is a convenient way for me to stay connected with (read: real) friends. Plus I just like sharing interesting things I find on the web.

    But I'm a little bit envious you did it. And I'll miss your virtual self. But I think I would like to hang out with the real-life Christy more.

    ~ g

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  2. She would love to hang out with you as well. Come over around 5ish tomorrow or Friday- Pursy is eating "solid" foods and feeding her is the greatest entertainment ever!

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  3. Thursday I going to hear some The Sizzle Sticks (a new swing group) at Sugar on Top. You, Monkey and Grant should come out! Here's the info:

    Thursday, November 18, 8-10 PM, $3 cover
    Featuring Jennie Lavine and the Sizzle Sticks:
    Jeff Yelton, Andre La Velle, Stacy Glen Tibbetts
    All ages, dancers welcome
    State College, PA
    Webster's Coffee Now Available!
    http://www.sugarontopsc.com/

    But maybe Friday? After school I'm pretty much free. I'd love to see you!

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  4. Hey - aw I am a little sad to hear that b/c i liked seeing the Pursy videos and leaving you a comment from time to time. You know you can post video on your blog right? :) I will be sad not to have you as a "Facebook neighbor" which is sort of how I view Facebook.
    I don't understand why people choose to behave DIFFERENTLY online than in person - I think that speaks to their character. I don't swear in person, so I'm not going to do it online. I try to avoid gossip in person so I don't do it online. I don't (purposefully) say mean and hurtful things in person, so I don't do it online (I admit there were times I said something NOT intended to be mean and hurtful and it WAS taken as such - but that is the nature of non-face-to-face convos and it was easily resolved by a phone call or private message to clarify).
    That said, I DO like how Facebook let's me say something I might be NERVOUS to say aloud (like my political or religious views), because I am NOT very confident in speaking my mind in person, but I feel confident to say on my Facebook because I feel like it's "my space" - but still I try not to say it nasty even though it's my space. And I don't paste my views on OTHER people's walls b/c that is NOT "my space."
    I think people need to treat Facebook the same as "personal space" - it's just too bad people can't seem to do that.
    I will miss ya, but at least I can visit you over here! :) Okay - that's my take! :)

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  5. I think that's a great Facebook philosophy to have, JK!

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