I go back to work tomorrow and spent a few minutes looking in the mirror tonight wondering if I will look like a Mom to my co-workers who haven't seen me in 3 months. Even though I will be back in my blue scrubs, I wonder if I will wear them like a Mom- like somehow the pockets will start slanting outwards. My work shoes are the same gray Earth tennis shoes that I wore before I went on maternity leave but do they look "sensible" now? Will I be the person who says "I have some!" then reaches into my enormous mom bag to dig out some gum??
Don't get me wrong, I love being a Mom- I just want to look like a hipster Mom. Like it took me 45 minutes to look like I don't care how I look. The thing is, I am not a hipster. I don't have the hips for skinny jeans and (Becki, say it with me) I don't wear tightsaspants under my ironic t-shirt and Toms. I actually like the Gap, purple nail polish and Taco Bell. Now that I am a Mom, do I need to start shopping at Chicos and washing my fruit with special pesticide removing spray soap?
Good god man, what then???